Weeks IIII / V / VI (March 31–April 15): Horoscopes to OutWit the Rat
Hey Str*kers! Behold the first set of bi-weekly horoscopes on Str*ke Astrology! WHAT! They’re written for the period between the Full Moon in Libra (March 31) and the New Moon in Aries (April 15). Every ‘scope has a musical accompaniment. The emphasis this month is on collaboration. Together, we’ve got this.
Together, we’ve also currently got a Mercury retrograde in Aries which has been active since March 22: Don’t panic, do double check all the relevant details and make sure the arrows point toward inevitable growth. Nothing is fucked here. The keyword of this retrograde is nourishment. Tap into enduring commitments and make sure they have everything they need to succeed. It might feel like you’re staring into the static on the TV, but don’t go all Carole Anne just yet (RIP Heather O’Rourke). Remember that you don’t have to trust bad information coming from the Void. Just change the channel. Or, like, walk away. And, if you aren’t sure where to go, just slow roll until the new moon hits at the moment that Mercury goes direct on April 15, both planets in Aries. When Aries, the horned first sign of the Zodiac, steps up, it’ll bring a profound (if messy) energy which tells the little sprout that it’s time to start climbing toward the surface. Buds will appear on the trees, crocuses and snowdrops will come through. We’ll have a deal and/or we’ll have to deal.
Before all of that, Venus will settle into Taurus this weekend (April 7). Make sure you take some time to set the table and welcome guests. If you’re not feeling social, take care of the lost parts of yourself. Cook a damn meal. Wear cozy socks. Do something that feeds the part of you which is overextended right now. We’re all dealing with a bit of a rough cut. The next steps are coming soon. The best we can do while we wait is to recognize that no time has been wasted, no scraps will escape the compost heap of this last month. Sometimes getting shit done looks like turning it over one more time, feeling the heat build up, and trusting that after the NO comes the YES. Time is a teacher.
Set your tuners to Tutor 1 cause we’re all about to be reminded what we’ve been fighting for. It’ll be a clusterfuck, but we will have crossed into another realm.
These horoscopes are written for your Sun/Rising sign. If you need to calculate your rising sign, you need an exact birthtime. You can make a chart for free on this very technical German website. If and when you do this, make sure to choose the “WHOLE HOUSE SYSTEM” in the “Options menu.” You can also read your Moon sign because (a) the moon is powerful and (b) the moon is as important as the sun. We’ll save the sun-centric astrology rant for an-other day…
Take what works, leave the rest. 12 signs, 12 steps. If your ‘scope doesn’t resonate through the written word, try the musical version. If that doesn’t work, call the exorcist!
March on, babies! Dance Dance Revolution.
Stay strong, stay warm, keep it 100.
Solidarity forever,
dp
Aries / Aries Rising
It’s your season, Aries, so I’ll keep this short and sweet. GET IT, GET IT ALL. Come up, come out, break ground, wear shoulder pads, bring the Fire, fan the flames. Don’t forget that you don’t have to go it alone. Lean on friends, lovers, the whole blood and spirit fam-dam-ly when you need support. (Reminder: You need support.) Lean with care though, now is not the time for a University President’s #LeanIn #BurntBridges feminism. Radical interdependence is key, especially since a certain panic might spark the stampede toward spring. As the message spreads to the rest of the herd/heard, you might find that the people around you are not as prepared as you are for the things that you have already figured out will be best. Let the diminishing glow of the recent Full Moon in Libra temper any potential tantrum, but don’t let it dampen your enthusiasm and #WhyNot powers. We count on you for that.
When you dance, dance like the Mother of All Divas living in your Solar Plexus Cher (TaurusSun/CancerRising/CapricornMoon) as she connects with her Very Best Friend DIANA ROSS (AriesSun/ScorpioRising/TaurusMoon) on stage in 1980. And don’t forget to change your pants, because –– I’m Coming Out
Taurus / Taurus Rising
There’s always a bit of a shaky moment when you’re up next. Things get a bit cagey, don’t you say? With full blown Taurus season still a few weeks away and Mercury in Retrograde in Aries, it might feel like the change that you both fear and need so much is just never going to come. The bad news is that, when you meet an obstacle, you can sometimes get convinced that it’s all to do with the other people involved. The good news is that all this dancing between futility and roadblocks reminds you of your hallmark determination. Channel the softer side of Sears and recognize that there is no weakness in needing other people. Use the arrival of Venus in your sign to show them how much you’ve always been willing to give and then bask in their appreciation. Not everybody is as welcoming as you are, Earth Mama, because not everybody is as solid in their generous capacity to love.
When you sing, sing like the Quiet Fire Ensconced Better Spell It Right Taurus BarBra Streisand (TaurusSun/AriesRising/LeoMoon) Just Being Human with Joyful Justice Bringer Stevie Wonder (TaurusSun/LibraRising/AriesMoon) –– People
Gemini / Gemini Rising
Just a bit of practical magick will anchor the empty bits left over from the last stretch of road. With Mars and Saturn hanging out in Capricorn and getting the square treatment from the Full Moon in Libra, it can feel like all the work presenting itself to you is poised to drain the last drop of your lifeforce into the infinite sea of obligations. Your (temporary) salvation is to be had in a little survey of the distance you’ve traveled. There may not be many clear points of orientation in the night sky, but that’s not a reason to feel lost. Don’t fear the morning. She’s on the horizon. Meantime, show up in the only way you know how to: With wonder, curiosity, and a willingness to refract your talent by making connections with magnanimity and grace. These are two highly underestimated characteristics of those living in the alone-together sign you inhabit. Embody ‘em both with a heartbeat of forethought. Teach us the grammar of Gemini glamour.
When you win, win like Twin in their own Right Prince (GeminiSun/ScorpioRising/PiscesMoon) getting TWO IN A ROW and then featuring GLOWSTICK DRUMMER Sheila E (SagittariusSun/AquariusRising/VirgoMoon) up front in 1985 at the American Music Awards. Together, we live –– The Glamorous Life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkXMORc5fAo
Cancer / Cancer Rising
The distance between what you’ve been gestating and the difficulty of bringing it into the world can be bridged with a little communicative precision. It’s easy to feel like you can’t quite bring your need for companionship––of whatever variety––to the surface. Maybe you’re too focused on losing the well-earned stability you’ve managed to carve out in the midst of an otherwise impractical situation. You’ve got plans for yourself; you’ve thought them through carefully and you can see how consequential they would be if they all came to fruition. While Mercury loops the loop, it’s time to let the parts of those plans that depend on other people take shape. Remember that every worldly pairing requires just the kind of solitude you’ve given yourself to in order to make a difference in your life. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself for the surprise of someone/something transformative crossing your path is to affirm the principle of mutual elevation. Other people learn from your highly attuned capacity to Care for yerSelf: Learn to let them reflect that back to you. A little trust will bring you back to the top in no time.
When you upstage, upstage like Force of the Deep Ocean/Brings Her Own Pit Crew w/ decals Producer and Diva Missy Elliott (CancerSun/ScorpioRising/LibraMoon) during the 2015 (aka #YearOfTheLastStrike) super bowl. Yeah, the one where TRIPLE FUCKING SCORPIO Katy Perry rode in on a GIANT Golden People Powered LIONESS and then danced with all of shark week on acid –– GitYrFreakOn/WorkIt/LoseControl
(Missy happens at 7mins15secs but watch it all!)
Take it into OVERTIME: Relive the magick in drag simulacra with best-ever #RPDR lipsync between Katya Zamolodchikova (TaurusSun) and Kennedy Davenport (VirgoSun), also the most outrageous upstaging/downstaging sitch ever recorded in front of DOUBLE SCORPIO RuPaul Andre Charles. (Link is for lovers.)
Leo / Leo Rising
With both Saturn and Mars sitting in Capricorn we’ve got a bit of a push–pull for the Leo. Taskmaster says you’ve got to get all of this done. The Red Planet asks if you have it in you and then doesn’t wait for the reply. It’s not the most comfortable combo when you’ve got the signature Leonic fire burning up the pit of your belly. Consolidate all the principled drive you can muster so that you’re ready when it finally comes time to exit the shade. In the meantime, you could do with a bit of introspection about the people around you: Who is trying to build you up and who is nagging you off the mountaintop? Getting to the bottom of social relations can be messy business, but sitting in the darkness pays dividends, especially with the New Moon bringing some much needed emotional balance to the situation. Reclaim the power of inviting those who’ve stuck around to bask in your warm glow, no questions asked. Then, turn up the internal fire to illuminate their faces with the deepest affirmation of your self-knowledge.
When you invoke, invoke like Transcendent Seraphim of Newark New Jersey and Leonic MegaStar Whitney Houston (LeoSun/PiscesRising/AriesMoon) calling on her #PsykikNotSidekik #BFriend4Ever Dionne Warwick (SagittariusSun/TaurusRising/TaurusMoon) because, hey, that’s what friends are for: A lifetime of Solid Gold. Some charges may apply. –– You’re a Friend of Mine
Virgo / Virgo Rising
There’s the Queen who sits on her perch, surveying the whole landscape and there’s the Queen who walks alone in the forest, curious about every buried mound of earth. Both of these characters are useful inspiration for the present moment. But don’t neglect the third entity: An Erudite Goddess who knows that the furthest reaches of the realm are useless if we don’t cultivate the deep fertility of every morsel of earth in between. Take the time to make sure that you’re neither overwhelmed by the scope of all the ground you’ve covered recently nor lost in the details of all of those consequential footprints across the desert. Queen is an earthly title, it comes and goes. Goddesses are forever. Just because you were born into a certain role doesn’t mean it’s inherently yours. Somebody raised you, somebody showed you the way. Now it’s time to do the courtesy of raising them up by doing right by yourself.
When you connect, connect like summer sleeping into fall with late August Virgo Me’Shell NedgéOcello (VirgoSun/ScorpioMoon) in Synchronistic Heartbeat Conversation with April Fool’s Aries Poet Visionary Gil Scott-Heron (AriesSun/TaurusMoon) –– Akel Dama
BONUS POINTS This track was co-produced by Missy Elliott! 1997 baby!
Libra / Libra Rising
The recent full moon in your sign has certainly brought back some … interesting memories. Back when I was a teacher not on str*ke, I used to tell my students that the word “interesting” was not a meaningful descriptor. I certainly hope that none of them were Libras. Y’all happen to be quite keen at expressing interest and quite concerned about being surrounded by interesting things and interesting people. Goddess forbade the Libras to be bored! Much less lonely. Still, I encourage those with your warmth to avoid giving too much credence to that which is merely “interesting.” A little compassionate detachment, please! Your cerebral curiosity often glosses over a fear of disappointment. As you drift into the super fun realm of problems that other people left on your doorstep, you might ask yourself: What if something that held your interest for so long turns out to be two-dimensional? Will you still remember how failure can be your greatest teacher? Or will you cave to the bluer side of the second blue moon of 2018?
When you finally yield, yield like Queen of Lush Comfort and Sidelong Seduction Ms. Toni Braxton (LibraSun/SagittariusMoon) dot com. She fronts her own outfit and sings to the absence of another. Ms. Braxton is signal boosted to CumuloNimbus heights when introduced by Auntie Patti Labelle (GeminiSun/CancerMoon). Also, because it’s 1994, Toni-with-an-Eye sports a choker just to sing –– Another Sad Love Song
https://youtu.be/f4JfwdDZ6tY
Scorpio / Scorpio Rising
Oh, honey! It’s harsh, I know. When all the good stuff is coming down the road but all you seem to be able to focus on is the voice of the inner disciplinarian, the one who has been hanging on since last season. Don’t worry, all these ch-ch-changes have been in the works for a while. Wouldn’t it be nice if you were able to cut a path between the mental chatter and the spiritual stagnation. Wouldn’t it be good if you could mix them like fire and water, wearing both masks at the same time––or, better, burning all the masks and making a new one out of the compressed ashes? What if you had a direct line to the griffin and the phoenix in all their hybrid glory? But, wait! You do. It requires a bit of willingness to walk back some of the commitments you made so that you can readily attend to the transformations which this Merc retrograde is serving up. Necessary changes don’t necessarily feel fresh when you’re taking a second pass at them, but you’ve got to put the doubts down and STEP AWAY. Yes, you deserve all these opportunities. No, that does not mean that you have to say yes to everything. A “yes” that isn’t backed up by a “no” has lost its power. Scarcity mentality serves neither in feast nor in famine. You’ve got to clear the road with some good old fashioned alchemy. Be the artist, follow the material.
When you redirect, redirect with all of the earnest humor and I’ve Moved On-ness of I Ate All The Plums in the IceBox TRIPLE FUCKING SCORPIO and Little Singing Penguin Björk processing complicated ethics with Guilty Man Toni FerrinoakaSteve Coogan (LibraSun/GeminiMoon) –– Short Term Affair
BONUS: Fly like an Aeroplane under the D Influence with Just Out Of The Sugarcubes, Everybody in Full Length Skirts Björk. (Link is for lovers.)
Sagittarius / Sagittarius Rising
Things have been a bit swampy for our resident Galloping Fire Archer. But the little lotus floating on your lily pad pond is getting ready to greet a froggy visitor! The end of last month brought the moon into Libra with a sharp-edged square to Mars and Saturn, both in task-mastery Capricorn. Stack that alongside the Mercury retrograde that will endure until the next full moon in Aries on April 15 and the tl;dr version is: This too shall meet completion. It probably feels like you need to move as quickly as you know how, on the wings of a dragonfly flanked by a triplet of sparrows. But, before you divebomb down with the final count, make sure you’ve prepared those on the receiving end of your wisdom to understand your motivations. When we’re moving toward completion, it’s easy to forget that we write the songs. Your left flank could use a little reminder from Venus, which will be sitting in Taurus, its comfort zone, all month. She says, “Before you dredge, fill. Before you open the doors to welcome visitors, make sure the soup’z on and the table is set.” That way, the part of you that needs loving comfort won’t feel shortchanged by the part of you that needs a little transformative truth-telling. You can have it both ways when the books are balanced.
When you settle accounts, settle accounts like Fire Archer DOUBLE SAGITTARIUS Sinead O’Connor (SagittariusSun/SagittariusRising/LibraMoon). Tell yourself what Sinead needs to hear: We love you Sinead, we want you to be okay, we know you are powerful; may you get everything you need. Then call on the the wandering wonderment Willie Nelson (TaurusSun/CapricornRising/CancerMoon) to rebalance your energies with his Herbaceous Country Style and to give you the strength you need to keep on shooting arrows. You have friends. You’re not the only one. –– Don’t Give Up
Capricorn / Capricorn Rising
Hear Ye, Hear Ye! You’re going to get beyond mid-month by doing what you do best: Bringing the cardinal clarity and practicality to cut through the fog. Being called on to do the work right now might feel like starting over. It might actually be starting over. Saturn, your planetary ruler, has been chilling in its home sign for a minute. While this many-ringed boss lady has been busy telling everyone what their limits are, you might have felt like holding very still is the only way to stay grounded. Yet, something behind you feels ready to move the mental mountains. I don’t suppose that the last full moon in Libra gave you much guidance on where to put that mass of material on which you’ve curled up. Reassess the sitch as we exit winter and head into spring. Between now and the next full moon on April 15, get a handle on the mental chatter by focusing on your core element: Earth. Sometimes we have to admit that we cannot rebuild every broken bit before moving on to the next thing. You will get this work done in the same way that you always have: By not getting caught up in the “what ifs” and “if onlys.” The cracks will fill themselves in with every step you take. Your heart will go on.
When you (re)cover, (re)cover like Earthy AF Dolly Parton (CapricornSun/VirgoRising/VirgoMoon) covering the better parts of All Over the Show Reba McEntire’s (AriesSun/GeminiRising/GeminiMoon) eternal question –– How Can I Go On
Aquarius / Aquarius Rising
Give yourself all the time that you need by reminding yourself of all the time that you have. Play like you mean it. The yawning gap between the Libra full moon on March 31 and the Aries new moon on April 15 is best for doing the most practical work you can around the house, around your little wonderland, around your personal utopia. Dealing with this Mercury retrograde might feel like excavating some of the worries that grown-up life puts in the way of your emotional fulfillment. Your way of approaching these worries doesn’t have to be massive to have the effect that is most needed right now: A renovation, a turning of the wheel. Remind yourself of the importance of bringing your flare for principled structure to bear on the spaces and places that make your innermost child feel taken care of and all loved up. Once you’ve combed through the more tender bits and prepared the space, you’ll have room to receive the creative and worldly sustenance that moves you forward without leaving any part of yourself behind.
When you (re)affirm, (re)affirm all the changes that still made you, you. Look in the mirror and see yourself with the Gai Irony and Immanent Precision of TRIPLE FUCKING AQUARIUS Roberta Flack living in an actual paper doll fishbowl dream with The Young Sun King Michael Jackson (VirgoSun/PiscesRising/PiscesMoon). You are in the fishbowl of life, darting from side to side, keenly aware of limits and just curious enough about the world beyond this very moment. No need to rush, it’ll still be there –– When We Grow Up
Pisces / Pisces Rising
Last month, the world was reminded of what makes Pisces powerful. Your waters bring on the birth of spring, no matter what the groundhog has seen. There is very little that can contain a Pisces. Now that the earth has been nourished with the creativity and countless blessings that you have to offer, you might feel like the whole show has moved on from the work that you are always doing to make room for the new. Sometimes it feels like you’ve poured your heart out and taken care of everyone else and there’s just nothing left. Much of the rest of the zodiac has already been drawn into the most outward manifestations of the nourishing work that you do to get things set-up. While they rush ahead, remind yourself that it’s okay to take the time you need to work on the basics of making sure you feel heard, of making sure that disagreements don’t overwhelm you, of making sure that the group around you can give shape to the growth pattern you’ve been charting out over the last lunar cycle. No matter what the most difficult people around you might say to diminish your sparkle, you have access to that innermost place where the flow is steady. Sometimes tapping in to that means tapping out of other people’s bullshit. Close your eyes and dance like nobody’s watching.
When you pour water from one cup to another, pour with the confidence of your most Trusted Friend with Clippers in a Hotel Room and Last Breath of Winter Full Ex-hail to Spring Rihanna (PiscesSun/AriesRising/AriesMoon). When the time comes, touch base with your inner N.E.R.D. [as repped by Mette Towley: “I physically show up and protest via performance – I tear apart symbols of injustice.”] and go forth with no fucks spared. Own the Whole Mall in Blacklight Afterglow. Your time might feel furthest away, but your flow reaches down into the core of every rock. If you’re lonely, go suck a –– Lemon
